All I can simply say is that God has blessed me so much in these past 2 years! I think I’ve broken out of my shell a little. But I’ve learned a lot along the way.
So I’ve decided that for my 30th birthday I am sharing with you 30 things I’ve learned in 30 years! Now I’ve leaned a lot of things, but this is a short list that I put together as a reflection!
So the first few things are centered around:
Friends, Family and Support Systems
1. Check your circle often
You are who you hang around with, so it is imperative to make sure the people you are around provide a good reflection of who you are. If people were to associate you with those who you hang around with, is that a good or a bad thing? You should make sure that if others were to associate you with a certain group of people, that they are who you want to be associated with!
People change over time. Sometimes this can be for the better, or it can be for worse. If this person has changed it is important for you to reassess your relationship with them. Has the dynamic of your relationship changed because of their change? Or Maybe you have
changed and have changed the dynamic of your relationship.
This leads me to #2
2. Quality over Quantity
Quality over quantity does not only refer to products or things; it can also be in reference to your relationships. Some people are so caught up on how many friends they have that they forget to check the quality of their friends. But, it really doesn’t matter how many people you have in your friend circle; however, it does matter if they are actually a real friend or not. It matters if you have a healthy relationship with them. Every person who you call friend, may not be a quality friend.
You don’t need a lot of friends, you just need good friends and good people around you.
3. You will have different friends for different things
You may have a friend that is your friend for a certain reason; you will also have another friend who is your friend for a completely different reason. The reasoning for that is that your friends may not always like the same things as you or they may not relate to certain aspects of your life. AND THAT IS FINE!
Some of your friends will fill the gap that others have left. Embrace it.
This is why you see friendships such as:
– Mommies have other mommy friends
– Single people have other single friends
– Business owners are friends with other Business Owners
You will also have friendships that help you emotionally, mentally, or spiritually.
Whatever the reason, embrace the diversity among your friend circle.
4. People will support you in different ways
This is a lesson I’ve learned while building my brand, being a content creator, and a yoga teacher.
Everyone will not have the same enthusiasm towards your brand, product, or service as you have. THAT’S OKAY!
Sometimes people won’t have the same interests as you, so they won’t be buying a product or service they don’t feel like they can use. You cannot get mad at people for not supporting every single thing you do. There will be times when the people in your circle will provide emotional support or spiritual support which also can help you to flourish in your endeavors. Embrace the fact that they still support and believe in you enough to talk with you or pray for you. THEY CARE!
There also may be those “friends” who don’t care, which leads me to #5.
5. Everyone will not have your best Interest at heart
So just as you will have people who will genuinely support you, you will also have those who won’t support you or your endeavors. Be on the lookout for those who are only in the friendship to help themselves. Be aware of those who are jealous and who may like to see you fail. This will only cause problems in the future. This goes back to #1 CHECK YOUR CIRCLE OFTEN!
6. There is nothing new under the sun
This is an old saying, however, it’s still relevant today! Everything that is happening now has happened before. History repeats itself. Different generations experience the exact same things, just in a different time period or environment. Think about how we think the older generations won’t understand our situations now…..But the truth is, in a lot of cases, they will understand because they’ve been through it before.
This is also why we see fashion trends come back into style. Trends and fads from the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s will make their way back into pop culture and the fashion industry.
There is nothing new!
So with this point being made, we can move right into #7.
7. Momma and daddy knows best
When I was younger I rolled my eyes at everything that my parents tried to tell me. Thos was only because I though they didn’t understand me. But most of the time THEY DID and it’s because they’ve been through it!
We have to understand that our parents know things that we may not. They may have grown up in a different era or time period, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t know anything about your situation or how to handle it. Our parents are truly looking out for our best interests!
I realize that now (well way before now) and although I still roll my eyes (mainly because they repeat themselves over and over) I’m listening because most of the time, they are right.
But there are times when they are wrong, which leads me to #8.
8. You will have to raise your parents as well
You can argue with me on this, but I will stay firm in my opinion. Times change and they will have to adapt to new things, and you will have to help/teach them. Even when it comes it certain ways of thinking, or bad habits, you will can respectfully tell them that there are errors in their train of thought, and then offer a new perspective.
Whatever it is, remember to be patient, it may take a while for them to change.
The next few are centered around:
Self-Care & Protecting Yourself
9. Protect your energy
Everyday we give away and absorb countless amounts of energy. We give energy to our jobs, kids, friends, family, events, activities, etc. We also absorb energy from those same things we give in to. By giving such a great amount of energy , we can risk depleting it; and by absorbing energy, we can be careless of what we absorb or consume. This is why it’s important to watch the things we see and hear (i.e. what movies you watch, what music you listen to, what conversations you are apart of, etc.). Some things can affect us negatively and we have to be able to protect our energy, everyday.
We have the world at our fingertips, and consume things at a fast rate, which makes it even more important to be mindful of our energy.
So how can we protect our energy? Let’s move on to #10.
10. Self Care is essential
Self Care is a great way to protect your energy and to make sure it not depleted.
Think of this in terms of a glass full of water and your energy is represented by the water. Everyday you pour water out of the glass and into the things that require your energy. If you continue to pour out, soon you will have little to no water left. Self Care can be thought of as replacing or refilling the water in your cup!
You cannot pour from an empty cup, so it is important to take time for self care, to recharge and refill your energy and your spirit.
11. Saying no is not a bad thing
We live in a society that values being busy, for no other reason than to look like they are working on their dreams. Staying in thie mentality only leads us to over-committing and potentially overworking ourselves.
But have you thought of Saying no as a form of Self Care? Think about saying no and not going to that party, or not going with your friends to certain events. When you say no, you give yourself the chance to be able to practice self care or to be able to just do something for yourself.
For some it may be hard to say no, so it may take a few practice rounds to be able to master this art at the right times in your life.
12. Learn to be present
Just like we live in a “busy” society, we also live in a “connected” society. Most of the time we are so connected to our devices that we forget to take time to smell the flowers, enjoy the scenery, enjoy the concert, or enjoy each other.
We have become so obsessed with looking like we are living in the moment, that we forget to actually live in the moment! So take time to enjoy the present moment, especially when you are with other people. Put your phone down and be all in the moment.
The next few things focus on:
Your Situation, Career, Passions, and Dreams.
13. Don’t live for others, live for yourself
Often we start out on the path that everyone else wants for us, however, you will not be happy if you’re not going after your passion. You can’t just keep coasting through life, living for a paycheck and nothing else. Figure out a way to go after what you love or what you’ere passionate about, even if it’s only part time or after your 9-5!
You will find it easier to go through life working towards what you want.
Which leads me to #14.
14. If you are not happy with your situation, Change It!
Sometimes i think people find comfort in complaining. If your situation is not ideal, find a way to change it! I understand that there are things you can’t always control and that sometimes it will be hard to turn a situation around, but you can always keep working to change it. it may be as simple as you applying to jobs, or talking to a therapist, or taking an overnight getaway, or maybe just taking time to be still.
Changing your situation requires dedication, which leads me to #15.
15. Vision is important
Having a vision for your life is important because it allows you to see the big picture and how you see yourself fitting into it! A vision gives you the end result, even if you are not sure how you will get there. So whether you write it down or create a vision board, create a vision for yourself.
I have two vision boards and I continue to see things manifest from it. I have them where I can see them everyday, and I pray and meditate on it often!
It is also important to review your vision to make sure it is still a god path for you to take. Things change and it does not hurt to reevaluate every once in a while.
If you can’t really see where you are going to end up, you won’t be motivated to work towards it.
16. Patience Is key
Be patient while you are working, it will happen at the right time. God always works things out and moves the universe in ways that will help you along the way.
Patience can carry you a long way!
17. Being consistent helps
Sometimes being consistent can be hard, mainly because of the dedication required. Consistency helps you to grow over time. It can leave a trail of your work and you will be able to see progress as you go.
18. There is a seat at the table for everyone
So yes this is the name of Solange’s album, but it is also true. I feel like we are easily threatened in this world of followers, that we look at others who are flourishing adn wonder why are not at that stage yet. We can all make it and coexist as owners of our Visions. So being jealous of others and their work and progress is unnecessary. You can build your own brand while supporting others. Remember you are unique and can attract your own customers or following. There is Nothing wrong with a little competition, but it doesn’t have to hinder your brand.
The next few things are focused on:
Being and Maintaining You
19. You will make mistakes, but they will not make you.
Don’t dwell on your mistakes, THEY HAPPEN. What really matters is how we respond to those mistakes.
Have you taken it as a lesson learned?
Have you learned from it?
Have you taken steps to prevent it from happening again?
Have you successfully moved on from it?
Your mistakes don’t make you who you are; what makes you is how you respond to them!
20. Be kind to yourself
We are usually our own biggest critics, and can treat ourselves harshly. You may be beating yourself up about past mistakes and failures, or you may constantly compare yourself to others negatively. so it’s important to step back and make a conscious effort to be kind to yourself.
Speak kindly of yourself
Speak kindly to yourself
Love yourself for who you are.
Embrace your uniqueness.
Don’t beat yourself up because of mistakes and failures, they are there to make you better!
Love yourself even when the world doesn’t want you to.
So along the same lines of being kind to yourself, #21 is way to continue doing this.
The same things that you beat yourself up over are the same things you have to forgive yourself for. If you are still holding past mistakes and failures over your head, please take time to forgive yourself.
For anything you feel may still feel guilt from, you have to give yourself room to learn and let go and move on. That’s what forgiveness is for, to start your healing and be ame ti move on.
You still deserve to be happy in spite of your past.
22. Invest in yourself
Invest in yourself, your brand, your business, etc. Keep doing eryday yiu need to do in order to maintain your position and to grow!
Investing in yourself may not always look like you spending money on yourself or on resources; it can look like you finding and using free resources around you. The knowledge is still valuable!
So keep learning, keep polishing and improving your craft,
23. Take compliments for what they are
Sometimes we will downplay compliments once we receive them. This happens when someone compliments you and in return you make it seem like it’s not a big deal or like what they said isn’t true.
I mean obviously others see something positive in you and you need to let it be….unless it’s a backhanded compliment, then don’t take that!
24. You are not alone.
No matter the situation, there are always others who are gong through the same things as you.
Never think that you are alone or that no one understands you because there will people who do.
Find support for your own situation. Whether online or in person.
These last few things are just:
25. Money comes and goes
Money comes and goes so quickly that it may feel like you’re speaking to a friend in passing.
Now your money may be gone for good reasons such as bills, savings, or investments.
But it’s stilll gone!
26. Change is inevitable
It’s one of the sure things in life! It’s going to happen; you just have to be ready to respond and adapt to it.
27. Things won’t bring people back
This comes from a place of loss. I’ve experienced many losses over the years and the one thing I can’t stand is when people fight over things. I am not that person. Once the person is gone, things wont bring them back and I just dont see the point in making a big deal over them.
28. Be grateful show gratitude
Be grateful for the blessings you have. You should consider keeping a gratitude journal to keep track of things you are grateful for. This is extremely humbling and grounding.
29. The journey does not stop at your destination.
Once you reach a goal or a milestone, you have to keep going. Everything is a journey and once you reach your point of success, you have to continue to maintain and grow.
So keep learning, and improving even after you getting where you want to be!
And last but certainly not least….
30. Everyone will percieve things differently.
With all of the issues of today and the rising popularity of people’s opinions, we have to understand that everyone will think differently. This will be based on how they were raised, their environment growing up, the people they are around and the things they consume. It may not always agree with your own opinion.
And that’s it for my list of 30 things I’ve learned in 30 years!
Check out my Youtube Video below for a quick recap: